Monday, July 07, 2008

It's All Write

Raise your hand if you enjoy writing. I'll raise mine! But I have to say the English language never gives up trying to trip us up with its many snags. No wonder we make so many mistakes and dislike the feared grammar courses so much. Who invented which spelling goes with which meaning and all that, anyway? Here are a few sentences, some in question form, to show how crazy it all is. Just wanted to poke fun at whoever all the wise folks were that thought this all up.

  • They're going to put their books over there. [How many times have you used the wrong one in the wrong place? Or should I say right one in the wrong place? Or is it the wrong one in the right place?] Stay with me, now!

  • Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway, please tell me?

  • So, yesterday I didn't have time to sew my buttons on because I had to go sow the tomato seeds.

  • Oh, are you two going to the store too?

  • We produce all kinds of produce on our farm.

  • The Polish girls are too busy to polish their nails.

  • I had eggplant for dinner last night; tonight we had hamburgers. I didn't have eggs last night, nor ham tonight. Crazy, huh?

  • Hey! Why do people sink slowly in quicksand and why is a boxing ring square?

  • There comes a day when your children will learn that a person who writes is a writer, not a writest. So does it make sense that a person who performs an art is an artist, not an arter?

  • Last month, all the teachers taught. What did all the preachers do?

  • I have more than one foot--I have feet. I have more than one boot--what do I have?

  • Oh, dear. I shed so many tears when I saw so many tears in my stockings.

  • Another thing--Why do we play at a recital and recite at a play?

  • When the lights are out do you see them? What about the stars?

My granddaughter is in the process of learning the English language. And by jove, somehow, like the rest of us, she'll get it. What a remarkable work of art God did when He created the human brain to figure all this out. A computer could never be able to do it! Just try letting your spell check sort through these.

If you have any of your own to add, please do.

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