Have You Been There?

So today I get the following email from a "friend?" LOL Enjoy!

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in.

Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person. My job is done!

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one to another: I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!

Are You Up for This?

THIS IS GREAT for wordsmiths! Read all the way to the end. This took a lot of work to put together. You think English is easy??? Read to the end ... a new twist 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The peasant decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ? You lovers of the English language might enjoy this: here is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ? We call UP our frie nds. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polishUP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!

White Lie Church Cake

This story was too good for me to pass up passing on to you all. Just be sure not to read ahead to the end and I have no doubt you'll appreciate it.

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this --especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found a dusty old Angel food cake mix in the back of her kitchen cabinet and quickly made it while drying her hair and getting dressed, while helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp.

But when Alice took the cake from the oven the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive and not wanting anyone to think she was not the perfect woman able to handle all things at all times or that, God forbid, she not participate in her church's bazaar, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.

Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect! Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head off for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom. Alice was horrified...she was beside herself. Everyone would know ... what would she do, she would be ridiculed. She would have to move or kill herself! All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking, What would they think?
"Oh, my goodness; what can I do?" she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend a fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South.... and to Alice's horror the CAKE in question was presented for dessert. Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Alice who was still stunned and trying to formulate what words she would use to explain the situation, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself "THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!

*I found this story at Christian Life Stories and thank them for sharing it.*

Light Moment: Breaking News

"Dad, I think the Browns next door are angry at us."

"Why is that?"

"They're probably mad because our dog can retrieve the newspaper and theirs can't."

"How could you possibly know that? We don't even subscribe to the paper."

"Yeah, that's probably got something to do with it, too."

Cold Water

I got this in an email from some friends yesterday. Thought you'd appreciate it:

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks
that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan


After spending a great evening chatting the night away,
the next morning John's grandfather prepared
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate,
and questioned his grandfather asking,

'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied,

'They're as clean as cold water can get em.
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'


For lunch the old man made hamburgers.


Again, John was concerned about the plates,
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,

'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said,

'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as
clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you
fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town
and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog
started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said,
'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!

'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!

Light Moment

Junior: Mom, the new baby looks just like Rover.

Mom: Junior! Don't say such a thing.

Junior: It's okay, Mom. Rover can't hear me.

Uh-Oh

A couple had just arrived at the concert hall when the husband remarked. "I wish we'd brought along our piano bench."

"What in the world for?" his wife asked.

"Because our tickets are inside the seat."


This is always a big worry for me whenever I go some place, whether a musical concert, baseball game, or whatever when tickets are involved. This is one of those "fears" that I go a bit overboard on. Everybody has some. I usually check and double check that I have the tickets for wherever it is that we're going. I compulsively check over and again.

Another one of those weird fears for me is that I'm going to forget and leave the dog outside overnight. We always let him out one last time before going to bed, and when I'm the last to go to bed, I check in the sun room (where he sleeps in his crate) even when I'm sure he's in there. I HAVE to turn on the light and double check last thing before I go to bed. Very strange. I have more of these kind of things, but I won't bore you with more.

How about you? Do you have any of these compulsive type fears?

A Needed Light Moment

A doctor's receptionist answered the phone and was screamed at by an excited man at the other end of the line.

"My wife's in labor!" he yelled. "I think she's going to deliver any minute now."

"Please calm down," the receptionist said. "Is this her first child?"

"No, no! I'm her husband!"

Bulldog Puppies

A notice in a weekly newspaper advertised bulldog puppies.

"Cute, already housebroken." the advertisement promised. "Eat most any food you put in front of them. Love children."

A Lighter Moment

Couldn't resist sharing this one:

A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.

"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber.

"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."

A Lighter Moment

A man telephoned his neighbor at four o'clock in the morning and said, "Your dog is barking and keeping me awake."

The neighbor called him back at four o'clock the next morning and said, "I don't have a dog."

Older Than Dirt

I got one of those nostalgic forwards from an "older" friend and took the quiz. Well, I guess I'm older than dirt, as there were only two on the list that I didn't remember. Wow. Here are a couple of excerpts from the email as well as the quiz. Take it and let me know how you make out. Don't be afraid to tell!

MEMORIES from a friend :
"My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old."

How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.



OLDER THAN DIRT QUIZ
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.

1.Candy cigarettes
2.Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes
3.Home milk delivery in glass bottles
4. Party lines on the telephone
5.Newsreels before the movie
6.TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
7.Peashooters
8. Howdy Doody
9. 45 RPM records
10.Hi-fi's
11. Metal ice trays with lever
12. Blue flashbulb
13.Cork popguns
14. Studebakers
15. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 11-15 =You're older than dirt!

The Lighter Side

Every year, Neesie gives me one of those daily calendars--the kind where you tear off each day. I've had them with a Bible verse each day, a puzzle a day, and other themes. This year it's a joke a day. The calendar is put out by a Christian publisher, so all the jokes are clean. If you're like me, having a little something to make me smile is helpful, so I thought now and then, I'd post one of these little goodies (sometimes with some adjustments) to hopefully lighten up your day a bit and make you smile. I may even find other goodies from other sources. No need to comment, just enjoy and go on with your day! In honor of my dog Frodo who begs all the time, I'll start with this one:

Tina: I trained my dog not to beg at the table.

Gina: How did you do that?

Tina: I let him taste my cooking.

A Decade

I have a quick question. As you know, a decade is ten years. I was reading a debate going on in the comments on a news article. Some were saying that January 1, 2010 is the beginning of a new decade. Others were saying no, that December 31, 2010, is the END of the decade. What do you say? (Hint: I think if you think about your age it will help.)

History/Government Quiz

Today, someone sent me an email entitled "History Quiz on Columbus Day," which quiz I took a little bit ago. I was somewhat surprised that I did a little better than I thought I would, but it was nothing to be proud of. Often people talk about how little our children know about U.S. history, but according to this email, 96% of high school seniors failed this, and 50% of people over fifty years old did too. The email said 23 out of 30 is considered passing. Oh dear. In that case, I think I failed. Those last ten questions are what did it. Go here and take the quiz--I think you'll enjoy it. Let me know how you make out! :-)

Having Fun!

Why is it that this modern Nanna usually doesn't have pictures in my purse to show off my granddaughters. That's because all my photos are online. Anyway, I snitched this video off of Bev's Facebook. Had to show it to my NR friends.

For some reason, I can't get the video to work. If you have a couple of minutes could you go here to view it? Thanks!

I love these two little girls! You grandmoms know how it is.

Come On Over

Over on the sidebar, not too far down, you'll see the link to "The SG Notebook," which is the blog for our home business. As some of you know, Speakable Gifts provides inspirational publications and other gift items for families, especially children. Kids are important to us, and we do as much as we can to promote their growth in every way, especially in character. If you have youngsters at home, you also might want to try out the writing activities we have on our site.

Well, today I just posted that we're hosting our first giveaway and wanted to invite you to come over and leave a comment (or more) so that you can be in the running. Everything is explained there and when you get there, you'll see what it is that we're giving away! I sure would love it if one of my friends from this blog could end up the winner. And yes, Cathy, I want you to enter too!

I'll probably tell some folks when I comment at your blogs, so that some of your readers may come too. We want folks to know where we are and to know about Speakable Gifts. So thanks for helping out! All ages welcome!!

Spring Getting to Know You Giveaway

This is all about a post I promised to make last week to Bev and our friend Sara about a giveaway going on at their Girl Inside blog. I'm finally getting to it. They are giving away a great book--I would advise you to check it out. In order to enter the giveaway, you fill out the following survey and then post it on your blog. Then you go to the Girl Inside blog and add your name to the Mr. Linky at their post. Your name gets entered for the book and if you sign up to follow their blog, your name gets entered again. Hope that explains it well enough for any of you who wants to, to give it a try. All ages are welcome! So here goes:

1. Give us your name and age (age is optional) please don't put your last name!
My name is Maxine. I am also known as Nanna, and well, I'm old enough to be a nanna.

2. Who is in your family?
In our household: My husband Chuck and my sixteen year old daughter Neesie. Guess I'll count Frodo, our dog. My family, though, extends beyond this household.

3. What is your favorite Bible verse?
My favorite passage is Romans 8:35-39. But there are many favorites.

4. Why is it your favorite?
To know that nothing can separate me from Christ's love is all that I need in this often difficult pilgrimage. If I have Him, I have all things.

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Write, especially something spiritual for children. This comes more easily at certain times more than others. I also enjoy all kinds of puzzles, enjoy old TV shows, and of course, enjoy blogging. Feeding and watching the birds is another pastime.

6. What is your biggest struggle as a woman?
To not talk too much.

7. What would you like us to talk about in the GI blog in the future?
I think I'll let your younger women tell you that.

8. Who is your favorite author?
Elizabeth Prentiss and J. C. Ryle.

9. What is your favorite Christian song or poem?
I can't just name one of the many old hymns that I love. "It is Well With My Soul" would definitely be one of them.

10. Do you have any advice for a fellow sister in Christ?
Especially for the younger women: Look to Christ in all things. Look to Christ to make you beautiful in the real sense; look to Christ to show you what is true success in this life; and look to Christ to give you contentment and satisfaction.

Now that I've done mine, why don't some of you try it, and then go over to tell Bev and Sara and link to your blog. Who knows--you may end up with a book!

It's All Write

Raise your hand if you enjoy writing. I'll raise mine! But I have to say the English language never gives up trying to trip us up with its many snags. No wonder we make so many mistakes and dislike the feared grammar courses so much. Who invented which spelling goes with which meaning and all that, anyway? Here are a few sentences, some in question form, to show how crazy it all is. Just wanted to poke fun at whoever all the wise folks were that thought this all up.

• They're going to put their books over there. [How many times have you used the wrong one in the wrong place? Or should I say right one in the wrong place? Or is it the wrong one in the right place?] Stay with me, now!



• Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway, please tell me?



• So, yesterday I didn't have time to sew my buttons on because I had to go sow the tomato seeds.



• Oh, are you two going to the store too?



• We produce all kinds of produce on our farm.



• The Polish girls are too busy to polish their nails.



• I had eggplant for dinner last night; tonight we had hamburgers. I didn't have eggs last night, nor ham tonight. Crazy, huh?
  


• Hey! Why do people sink slowly in quicksand and why is a boxing ring square?



• There comes a day when your children will learn that a person who writes is a writer, not a writest. So does it make sense that a person who performs an art is an artist, not an arter?



• Last month, all the teachers taught. What did all the preachers do?



• I have more than one foot--I have feet. I have more than one boot--what do I have?



• Oh, dear. I shed so many tears when I saw so many tears in my stockings.



• Another thing--Why do we play at a recital and recite at a play?



• When the lights are out do you see them? What about the stars?

My granddaughter is in the process of learning the English language. And by jove, somehow, like the rest of us, she'll get it. What a remarkable work of art God did when He created the human brain to figure all this out. A computer could never be able to do it! Just try letting your spell check sort through these.

If you have any of your own to add, please do.

Flowers and Fro

I am so sorry that I didn't keep my promise to come back the next day with another picture taken with my new camera! Actually, I wanted to leave Lena at the top for a few days, anyway.

Would you believe that I hadn't planted any flowers until today? The reason for this is a long story which would bore you so I won't bother to explain. Finally, the other day I got a flat of impatiens, but didn't have any potting soil until yesterday so that was today's project. Here's a picture of one of the hanging plants which doesn't look the greatest yet; however, I thought maybe in a few weeks I'll take a picture of the same planter and let you see how it's progressing. Now, our flowers will be nothing like my bloggy friend Cathy's, but at least we're trying. My hubby usually cares for the flowers after they're planted, because I have a bad habit of forgetting about them. Obviously, gardening is not one of my strengths.

Well, today's other project was taking Fro to the vet for his yearly shots and checkup. He always is a charmer when he goes and gets lots of attention. They say he's doing well and that his weight and size are great. Now he's thinking he's a pretty big deal after all the good things that were said about him. So here he is posing for the world to see how wonderful he is.



I'll close with this:

A bus driver is going up a one-way street the wrong way. Halfway down the street he gets spotted by a police officer, and waves hello to him. If the bus driver is going down a one-way street the wrong way, why does the police officer not pull him over and give him a ticket?